Why the F is my hair like that?

In another post in my ongoing series of how hair in general, and my hair in particular, completely baffles me…

Before cosmic karma strikes me down, I must thank my hair for being gorgeously soft and sleek most of the time, and simply for being on my head in abundance, even with all the hair shedding post pregnancy.

My hair is so very stubborn and it seems to be getting more and more goddamn stubborn as I age. By stubborn, I mean refusing to change from its natural state.

It is stick straight. Apparently the hair on my lashes and the hair on my head really cannot fricking curl. When I was in school, I used to be able to create gorgeous loose waves just by bunning my hair and letting it dry twisted up in the a bun. I mean, this is a legitimate way of curling right?? I also created pin curls, the old Hollywood glamour style which I loooooove, for my wedding photoshoot some time ago and they were a reasonable success.

But now, I left it up in a bun the whole fricking night to dry and when I wake up, holy crap it’s just as straight and limp as ever.

I haven’t really tried heat styling tools in awhile, but ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat. But even with heat styling tools my hair seems to lose its curl really, really really fast. (I could braid it for curls as well, but it’s too short right now for braiding so I can’t try.)

Another thing is that my hair cannot goddamn absorb dye. It’s very dark, so I don’t expect dyes to work miracles, but I do expect to get a tint you know? Plus, I’ve dyed my hair quite a few times in the past few years, and I have walked away with reasonably obvious hair colour (though still dark, of course.) But recently I’ve done at box dyes at home with my husband, and while my husband’s hair became a super vivid red, mine was like, the same. WTF. I used a second box of dye in a more vivid red and left it on for twice as long as recommended. That gave me sliiiiiiightly more colour, but it was nowhere as vivid as my husband’s hair with just one box. WTF!

These are part of the reasons why I don’t bother about my hair anymore. I would really love to have it lots of funky colours. I was thinking of dying it blue like, 5 years ago before all the funky instagram hair hit. (I did actually dye it blue, without bleaching, so I had a nice blue tint in sunlight for awhile.) But now with my hair so stubborn, most days I just say fuck it. My default hairstyle is a ponytail (I hate hair in my face) or a bun (for stylish geekery, I suppose? :D) I wear it down when it’s not too hot, which around this time, is never.

Any one else can commiserate about the state of their hair?

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My hair is now blue-black 

I dyed my hair the other day. 

Actually like yesterday. 

 
 See my hair’s darkness? Nothing on my face (literally) except for brows, I think, and a metallic lipstick I made by patting this pretty rusty red eyeshadow onto lip balm. Will have another post in the future showing you how to make lipsticks of any colour you want !!! 
I am fair, so it’s good to be high contrast fair, with dark hair. And since I’m warm toned I think the blueness clashes and looks really cool. 

luxury shampoo and conditioner (or, the time I burnt my scalp.)

As I have said previously, I am freakishly lazy about hair. 

I use drugstore shampoo and conditioner. I used to like herbal essences because it smells good. Pantene, asience, etc, are all acceptable too. 

I usually only notice when shampoo goes wrong. In school, when I was lazier than now, I once bought an apple flavor shampoo that dried my hair out like fuck. And coated them in a funny film. My hair started dropping out like mad. Wtf. 

Another time, I took a bottle of herbal essences no one was using from my in laws’ house. (I totally have a weak spot for herbal essences okay!!! Still remember the ads from my childhood!) it however went off. Don’t believe a shampoo can go off? It smelled funny, vaguely like ammonia, but I used it anyway because it’s shampoo, it touches my hair for like all of 30 seconds. 

It gave me freaking SCALP BURN. My first and probably most embarrassing chemical burn in the history of humankind. My scalp was itchy and painful and skin was flaking off, but in the oddly compulsively pleasing way (ie not dandruff, but large enough chunks so you can see clear follicle holes – or am I just weird?!?)

However there has been a couple of really nice shampoos. Right now I am working through a bunch of those hotel toiletries that I took from hotels in my recent travels. 

I had a shampoo and conditioner from L’occitane, provided by Shangri La. That was quite nice. (See, I have no description.) 

But I really liked the set from Peter Thomas Roth. The shampoo smells divine and the conditioner made my hair visibly awesome the next Day. As in, I woke up and went omg my hair is awesome! 

 

this has bankrupted more than one person.
 
Obviously I’m not going to buy it. (I hope.) Those shampoos cost a fortune. It is a nice little bit of luxury though. I may actually miss it when I run out.

(Ps, if hotel toiletries sway your decision of hotel, I paid like $100 SGD/night for the Hilton, complete with its luxurIes, in the heart of Milan. Who also gave me lots of PTR. Score!!) 

Hair advice that lazy people can follow 

I am absolutely lazy about my hair. 

Sure, there are some things that could have been better; I’m not saying my hair is perfect. 

  • It could have been naturally wavy. I refuse to perm or curl
  • it could take on colour more easily: I used like 2 boxes of red dye on my short medium hair and IT JUST WOULDNT BE RED even though my husbands one was brilliantly ruby. 
  • My roots could be less flat. I have a problem with the hair on top of my head. Some photos in this blog have tell tale signs.
  • It could be less limp. Not only roots but the body also seems rather flat sometimes, like my hair sticks to my head and there’s no volume. 

Still, I really don’t give a shit about hair. Make up, skincare and dressing take up enough of my time. I don’t use anything beyond drugstore shampoo, I don’t use serums, gel, wax, spray, what have you. 

But there’s still some easy advice that even lazy asses like me could use to improve hair health:

  • Don’t comb your hair when wet. Wet hair breaks easily. 
  • Don’t heat style when wet. It’s like boiling your hair. 
  • Use heat protectant when blow drying. Alternatively, another solution is simply don’t blow dry. 
  • Use shampoo on scalp only, and Use conditioner on your ends. Ends tend to be dry while scalps are oily or have dirt. Don’t lather up the whole length. 
  • And use conditioner, damnit.